I'm Here For You
by snowxhanyouxqueen
Summary: Sesshomaru comes home to a quiet house and the sense that something may be wrong. Really wrong. InuSess.


**_A/N: Going to blunt here, this is by no means completely happy. I was in a really bad place a month ago and had to get this out. I wasn't sure I wanted to upload this here, but considering I have followers here, I figured that I should anyway. A trigger warning on this one, as it contains implied self harm, evidence of self harm, implied infidelity, and sad things and depression and tears and the whole works of crap that could trigger you. In which case, even though this is tame, this is in it's own way a teaser for how a fic I am planning may go. So enjoy, if you can._**

* * *

**I'm Here For You**

* * *

When Sesshomaru came home after a long day at the office, in which he had been constantly, and almost literally, barking at every employee working within his company walls, he had not expected to find the house dark, quiet, and filled with an unusual dread. He sniffed the air before he checked the garage, confirming that his husband was home, and he wondered if maybe he had had a rough day at work as well and that was why the house seemed so disturbing.

He sniffed the air again, setting his brief case and large coat on the island in the kitchen, loosening his tie as he checked the area for some sort of take out or unprepared food that he could consume, finding the air lacked the scent of fresh cigarette smoke. This only meant that Inuyasha had been home for some time and was already finished relaxing himself with a smoke or two. The demon calmly ascended the stairs, using his senses to pinpoint his lover so he could vent to him, possibly lay his head in his lap and watch those stupid drama's with him on television. The upstairs was equally dark and unsettling, all the doors were shut and all the lights were off.

The demon frowned, looking around until he headed down the hallway to their bedroom, quietly knocking before he entered. The only light on was the bathroom light, the door slightly ajar though illuminating the room enough to allow the demon to see. He found the hanyou's pants and socks on the floor, followed by the shirt he wore that day a little ways off from the original pile. The pack Inuyasha had bought was now empty on the floor, crushed under feet as the demon inspected the bed side table where the ashtray laid. The entire carton's contents were smoked up and put out in the tray of ashes, which forced the demon to check the bathroom next.

The bathroom reeked of blood, and he checked the trash can to find a few bloody tissues and bandage wrappers lying amongst the other waste. He knelt and ran his fingers underneath the counter around the toilet, frowning when he found that the blade he was aware was there was gone. He stood up, rummaging as quietly as he could through the various hair products on the counter, seeking the tool his lover owned and giving up when he couldn't find it. Sesshomaru left the light on when he left, heading towards the lump in the centre of the bed.

Small breaths and little, pitiful whines escaped the covers, the hanyou half in dreamland and half out, the scent of his early tears sticking to him like glue, the evidence staining his face when the demon pulled down the blankets. A sigh escaped him, though not one of disappointment. He was far more worried and concerned than he was upset, especially when he realized the hanyou had to use most of the box of bandaids for his thigh. Pale hands stroked up tanned and creamy legs till they reached the point of injury, the hanyou rousing from the depths of his mind to look back at his lover.

Immediately, he let out a sharp whine and hid his face, his shoulder's shaking as his hands moved to tug and grip his hair, which was already a mess from his earlier attack. Sesshomaru laid next to his husband, folding him up in his arms and against his chest. A slow rumble came from his chest, an attempt to soothe the hanyou out of his depressive state, so that he would feel loved and not alone as he probably had the whole day. Inuyasha turned in the demon's arms, his face filled with anger and sadness, obviously not happy with himself or the state that he was found in.

It wasn't anything knew, the behavior or the actions. It was something Sesshomaru knew well, and it was something he had accepted. They had worked on it together, at least until the hanyou was comfortable and more willing to do it on his own. He had stopped seeming so crushed for a long time, the blades were still in the house, but they were usually lost before they were needed. It had happened often in the last year though, with the transition between jobs, and moving, and their first horrible fight in years. Things had been said, and actions had been taken that neither of them could ever take back, but they had fought through it.

Now it was a new year, and Sesshomaru was aware that his lover had been off for weeks, something he hated seeing though knew was inevitable. Each day the hanyou had grown distant before he seemed to just bounce back and act as if nothing was wrong. He couldn't fool the demon thought, the pace of his heart, the way he wore his emotions like clothes, no, Sesshomaru knew that his hanyou was not okay for a very long time.

"I'm so sorry..." He heard the pitiful thing in his arms whisper, fingers grabbing and wrinkling his dress shirt.

"Don't apologize...You have no reason to..." The demon whispered back, fingers raking and brushing through Inuyasha's hair.

"I shouldn't be like this...this isn't alright...I don't even know why...why you stick around when you have a man in your life who acts like such a baby..."

"Stop beating yourself up, you aren't a baby...You simply are aware of the world's flaws...at time's it's too much to bear...some people cannot handle it...while other's choose to ignore it..."

"But I...Sesshomaru, I hurt myself and..."

"Love...please...It's nothing to be ashamed of...it's a relapse...it's part of making it through..."

"Will I make it through though? Am I really going to make it?"

"You're quite the man now aren't you? You just turned 28 last year...I think you'll survive." The demon smiled and pressed a kiss to the hanyou's forehead.

"You're just saying that..." Inuyasha snorted, the corner of his lips slightly moving as he attempted to smirk.

"I'm not...You'll make it...and I'll stay right here to make sure you do."

"You won't leave me again? Not like that one time...when we both..." He trailed off, not wishing to think about the time they had both run off in the heat of a fight and begun a fling of their own with other people, all out of spite and hatred for themselves and each other. Even imagining the faces they gave each other when they had no choice but to confess was enough to make the hanyou begin to tremble and shake again, pressing himself closer to the demon as he began to sob again.

"Never...Never again...I'll be right here...You know that...I have nowhere else to be but here with you...you and your bloody leg...and your tears...and your conflicted brain...I'll be here even when you throw pots and pans and knives at my head when I piss you off. I wouldn't take a quiet life over this in any life time...You keep me on my toes..." The demon smirked and kissed the hanyou's cheek, down to his jaw and then nudged his chin up so he could kiss his tear stained lips, "Just promise me you'll keep trying to kill me...and you won't leave me for some broad who tries to put you in the ground. It's much more fun with the two of us."

"You're a sap...a b-big...s-s-stupid...s-sexy...w-warm..sap...Now could you just...please...please lay here with me...without making me want to cry more? Y-you're love is just making me think I don't deserve you.." Inuyasha blubbered through his tears.

"Whatever you wish, my beautiful hanyou...Just remember my words...I'm not going anywhere...I'll always be here for you."


End file.
